25 Oct 2004   04:19pm mood     angry I leave tomorrow night for Minnesota...I'm making a quick visit to see Ryan. I'll leave my code to the house with you, Brad, I should be home by Friday morning, I'm assuming. we can go on a few runs and drink a few beers then, cool? haha Christina and Katie are my baby mama's. Ryan... guh. call me: Brad Cameran Nikki have you ever had some kind of relationship with someone and then over one fucking thing it falls to shit? I have. it's been on my mind lately, and I know SOMEONE Justin will kick my ass over this, but it's been pissing me off. I seriously can't even believe how one fucking thing can cause a huge chain of events like this. yes, a mistake was made. yes, it pissed me off and I said something to someone else who in turn said something to someone else but CHRIST. I cannot believe it turned into such a huge fucking ordeal. a friendship that we had for THAT LONG is now lost? I'm sick of being the girl who will take ANYTHING and then expect to be the friend again when they come back. not this time. I'm sick of being hurt like that, I'm sick of this up and down friendship I have with people sometimes. it's like, they could do the WORST thing possible to me and then I can still turn around after they say 'sorry, never again' and I'll forgive them? no. that was me when I'd allow myself to always get hurt. fuck it. maybe it wasn't anything to begin with anyway. nothing worth while, that is. if you're not willing to try, I don't see why in the hell I'm expected to do so. -Kim p.s... hi, I hate you too. :) 27 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

15 Sep 2004   12:07pm mood     hopeful *bites her lip* paris, call me... we need to talk. I've got a girl issue. *laughs a little* as for everyone else, talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: rhode island. neither a road, nor an island. discuss. 42 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

15 Sep 2004   12:41am MISSING FRIENDS: report back to kimberly caldwell if found Damien Fahey, Tara Reid, Beyonce Knowles are all lost... and I'm sad! Damien probably has second thoughts about eloping with charlize and I. Beyonce is probably still mad at me for STILL not having a key lime pie for her! and Tara? she's probably up a tree. literally. saving cats. come home, babies! I miss you! -Caldwell 16 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

14 Sep 2004   07:46am Because I've been in her position before: I think that JESSICA BIEL is a gorgeous son of a beast and everyone in here should be dying to talk to the little lady, so why don't ya'll line up already?! /end public service announcement. -KC 2 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

13 Sep 2004   11:44pm mood     anxious I swear, if it were possible, I'd marry you all. *laughs* chad thank you a million times for the roses. you're an amazing guy... you just never have your cell phone turned on!! -kimberly 2 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

13 Sep 2004   12:00am Ryan Gosling and I are too damn hot for our own good, so we decided to get MARRIED. Vegas. this weekend. you in? 19 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

12 Sep 2004   11:36pm mood     contemplative dear John Mayer: whereas I don't so much know what to think of you because your overwhelming popularity with 14 year old girls startles me, I'm kind of fond of your new song. just thought I'd let you know. truly, Kimberly Caldwell 10 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

12 Sep 2004   10:51pm mood     confused Liev and I had a fantastic talk earlier... he made some good points, and he's especially right when he says only I can help myself. I appriciate people that listen sometimes.... sometimes you don't need other input. sometimes it feels good just to let it all spill out, and those are the times you lease realize you need it to. you know? thanks so much, doll. I'm going to sue Nick Carter for his cool pool in his backyard and possibly some money to buy cool new pool toys and a barbecue pit so I can have a pool party. Ryan Gosling is my kool-aid soul mate! props to purple kool-aid. Ryan, you should come to my pool party I'm going to have once I win over Nick's pool, we'll serve chilled Grape Kool-Aid at the barbecue! and I have to apologize now, I do have leather couches -- but as we discussed before, you don't have to sit on them -- I don't even do it. they're just pretty. I have a few cloth ones stashed away somewhere that I should probably pull out. but if you feel the need, you can get naked on the floor. save yourself the ass-stickage. I now present to you, Ryan, the certified genius award. anyway, I picked up a few magazines today that talked about puppys... *laughs* I'm such a dork, but I'm looking forward to getting one! I'm so antzy I want Chad to be in town NOW so I can pick one up! being in a huge empty house all by yourself is so lonely at times.... with that, I totally encourage ALL VISITORS if you'd like to hang out? for real, ever since Clay moved out, I've been all by myself and damn, it's really not fun. *laughs* I should just look for a room mate or something, right? at least I'd probably get some money out of it! I kind of feel like buying myself flowers tomorrow. I'll pretend someone loves me and they gave them to me. oh my god I'm a loser. ...forget I said that! kimberly I feel like watching the movie BIG. anyone like that movie? 16 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

this is important! for real important! 11 Sep 2004   11:30pm mood     amused music     yellowcard - view from heaven ...because I'm afraid of his wrath if I don't post it: BEN MCKENZIE SHOT ME IN THE ASS WITH PAINTBALLS. I need to burp. -kim 11 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

11 Sep 2004   12:47am mood     cheerful Chad Michael Murray is definitely in the 'rockstar' category in my book. Chad, our chat was fun -- I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets lost like that in chats... and the "COOL AS HELL" award of the day goes to Justin Timberlake because anyone who can go from "you know jack about the music industry, kim" to "I've got your back, kim" deserves a gi-normous triple stuffed oreo cookie, the halloween kind - with orange icing. I think they look like they would taste a lot better for some reason... I still think I should go buy a dog for myself and make it Paris's dog's pimp.... her dog will be my dog's bitch! ...eventhough she swears Tinkerbell is a virgin. I beg to differ. I think that dog probably has a freaky side to her. ...maybe I'll break down and buy one soon, talking to Chad about them too doesn't help.... Guh! I want one so baddly... Ryan Gosling is definitely an amazing man. I saw "The United States of Lieland" today..... geez, it seriously touched me. anyone who can pull that off deserves serious props. I'm a huge fan of your movies, Ryan... that style just suits you perfectly. special treat. for you, bitches... my sexy icon. oh lord, ya'll... where does the day go? I'm off like a prom dress, K.Caldwell 27 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

09 Sep 2004   10:56pm mood     creative Damien Fahey and I are getting married and I think people hate me for it... *laughs* oh well. we're eloping because we have nothing better to do..... or, I have nothing better to do. Damien, what do you say, Vegas? quick... let's call up Britney, maybe she's in good with the chapel and she can get them to cut us a deal! I want to be a super hot twin of Paris Hilton's. wouldn't that be freaking awesome? just a thought. ...or Tara Reid's. that'd be pretty damn cool too.... or maybe I could just be a triplet with the Olsens?? *sniffs the air* smell that? that's right... it's the sweet smell of pure boredom. tonight would be a perfect night to bicker with my buddy, the one and only hot curly haired stud, my favorite man whore, Justin Timberlake. ....what do we still have left to argue about anyway? where's Ryan Cabrera? the boy seems a little down lately, I'm worried... enough randomness, now let's get serious! who's coming to the party tomorrow brought to you by your very own haylie duff and myself? with two gorgeous beasts like that throwing a party, you better find a way to get your asses over to my house! PRONTO! PSA... Do I know you? I didn't think so. introduce yourself to me, I don't bite! ...I lick! now... everybody cut loose. FOOTLOOSE. -kimberly 14 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

06 Sep 2004   08:22pm oh my gosh, ya'll - I've met so many awesome people in the past few days. Haylie and I are totally throwing a party when she gets back to LA! what a cool girl! I have to be honest though, I haven't heard any of her songs or anything but I can tell already she's going to be great, she's got such an amazing personality! same as Usher... I seriously am stoked that he watched American Idol! I figured a guy like him would be entirely too busy to fit that in his schedule. Ryan Cabrera my peeeach! ...I don't know where you've run off to, but wherever you are, hey! Mary Kate Olsen! how cool is she? seriously. she and I seem to be quite similar. we're both pretty weird about being outside our 'comfort zones'. I like trying new things, but hey, sometimes I'm a little shy. yep... I'm shy. anyway, I told her she could totally borrow my comfort zone in NYC. Pierre....I wish I knew something to do for you. but give me a call whenever you can, I still would like to talk to you. I miss hanging out with you. Ashley Olsen the girl is adorable! I had a fantastic time talking to her the other day. Justin Timberlake left me a message the other day... one of these days I should probably write him back. Paris Hilton couldn't even BE more like me if she tried. oh my gosh, I can tell already that girl and I are going to be such good friends. call me up anytime, paris! Clay and Kelly! my darlings... I still need to call clay. :( poor thing, doesn't sound like he's having a good time lately... god I suck as a friend! I should stay on top of these things and check up on them lately. hmm... Cameran! you're adorable, girl! oh gosh, I seriously think I've met more people in the past week than I have EVER in my life. it's been so much fun though. I know Haylie and I are going to start up an awesome party... who's in? as soon as she gets back from Arizona, we're heading up whoever wants to come. the theme? 80's rock stars // movie stars. bring starburst and skittles! that's our only request. always yours, Kimberly Caldwell 15 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

03 Jun 2004   10:35pm mood     confused music     wiskey lullabye // allyson krauss & brad paisley -closes her eyes tightly and takes a deep breath- Clay- I don't know what your plans are, but my plans have just changed...again. I'm heading out to Katy. apparently there were some pretty bad storms and something happened... and 'something' doesn't sound good. they just don't ever tell me all the details because they know I'll flip out if something horrible has happened. so, to anyone who might need to get ahold of me, I might not be very social for the next few days, pending on what is going on. I'm heading down to Texas in an hour, actually... I got a phone call about an hour and a half ago from my mom...good news is she doesn't sound too upset about whatever is going on, but it's still enough that they asked me to come back down for a bit. so I'm not sure how long I'll be gone but I'm assuming it'll only be a few days. -laughs- I guess it's no big deal anyway... I'm actually looking forward to an excuse to keep busy right now. I'm not too busy anymore... or as busy as I was, at least. hopefully things'll pick up sometime soon again, anyway. since Idol's over, there's hardly much for me to do! hmm...maybe sometime soon this damn cd'll be put out! Ryan- Call me when you get a chance. I need to talk to you. Pierre and Tara, same goes for the two of you. yes you, tara so... -a little more calmed down and not as anxious- I guess I'll be out for the next few days... I'm sorry I'm always up and out on ya'll, but sometimes things like this happens. I'll just keep you all informed as to what's going on as soon as I find out myself. I'm actually thinking it's probably nothing... they probably just want to see me and have me help a little with the damage from the storm... they're always looking for another reason for me to come back to Katy. -laughs- night, ya'll. -kimberly 8 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

31 May 2004   09:40pm mood     nervous music     kelly clarkson // you're all I need to get by no matter how hard I try, I still can see clay dancing whenever he sings 'still the one'. -laughs- it's kind of a funny sight. I've been in this damn airport forever now, waiting on my plane. apparently the plane that is supposed to take me back to LA is ...disfunctional. great. I'm TERRIFIED of flying as is, and they go and tell me something's wrong with it? -laughs nervously- I'd rather just run all the way back to LA, bags and all! Like I said, I've been sitting here for almost 2 and a half hours waiting on getting back to LA. there's nothing I want more than suprises laying down in my bed, covering up in my AWESOME bed sheets I just bought the other day and falling asleep with the one person I'd want next to me while listening to music. -smiles faintly- instead I'm sitting here listening to my MP3 player and cracking up as I listen to Clay sing this song... but I've also come to the conclusion that 'One Last Cry' has to be one of my FAVORITE songs ever. Brian McNight, I love you, dude. I was here you were there guess we never could agree while the sun shines on you I need some love to rain on me still I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone got to get over you nothing for me to do but have one last cry one last cry before I leave it all behind I've got to put you out of my mind this time stop living lies I know I've got to be strong cause around me life goes on -sighs- boarding time... finally. wish me luck... -kimberly -nervously shuts her laptop and walks toward the attendant to give her the boarding pass she held in her hand- 4 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

30 May 2004   08:55am mood     cheerful just a quick update before I fly out to Vegas... I've got a signing at the PAlMS casino... which, I've never been to, but I hear is gorgeous. I'll give all of you the full update as soon as I return. I'm expecting it to be maybe tomorrow night-ish? I want to stay for a bit and experience the whole thing, you know! Jamie Lynn is gorgeous. I feel awful for telling her I'd call her and everytime I try I can never get through. but I promise that we'll talk sometime soon, sweetheart. I owe you ice cream or something. and seeing as though I just said ice cream, beyonce is probably going to have to come too... that's her thing, you know. also, I feel like bringing Jasmine and Amy too, if that's alright -- they're adorable and I feel horrible for never being around whenever they call! I promise to hopefully have my cell on more often from now on, alright girls? Pierre...thank you. I hope it all works out too. is it fair to say that I think Tom Delonge is the one thing cooler than being cool? I had a blast talking to you the other day, hun! I expect more calls soon, alright? if not, I've got 32 dogs in my basement ready and willing to track you down, and when I find you, you've got some serious explaining to do.... -laughs a little- nah, seriously. just call whenever. you're a blast, dude! I'm about to head out... I really wish I could stay. I really actually wish more than that, that I could be in England. -shrugs- not everything goes my way and I'll accept that. vegas, here I come! wish me luck! -kimberly 4 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

27 May 2004   09:16pm mood     annoyed Pierre and Ryan... knock it the HELL off... both of you. I've never before felt like I've been in the middle - and the cause of - something SO DAMN CHILDISH. you both need to stop. I don't want any of this 'I didn't start it' crap, just END IT. I'm fucking sick of it and if it doesn't end soon, I'm finished with the both of you. I can't take it anymore! don't make me choose. knock it off. seriously. 11 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

27 May 2004   01:00am tonight was like a bad movie! we cried we laughed we faught first kiss what else can you ask for? drama, drama drama. gotta love it. sometimes. and to make the night even better, I'm eric bana's best friend! and so is Jai! to make that even BEEEEETTTER!!! Jai and I are twins!!! ...and so are sami and I. yes. I am twins with both jai and sami. it's my night, don't ruin it for me. just say 'congrats, dork!' and walk away. the end. 11 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

26 May 2004   11:25pm oh... oh wow. those are big words and 'the world' is a big thing to mean to someone. -giggles and shines a huge smile- I need someone.... sami, sasha, beyonce, tori, amy oh anyone... -shrugs- why isn't anyone on their phones? I'm so happy. I'm such a girl. I'm so happy... -smiles- 1 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c

26 May 2004   10:44pm Georgia. I seriously cannot wait to get out of this damn airport. I've never been in an airport I've disliked more than this one..... really. Tonight after AI, the fans seriously got SO sad when Diana lost.... I tried to explain to them that she didn't even really 'lose', that she came in second out of HOW many people? -laughs- they started realizing I was right, so they cheered up a little and immediately applauded and were happy again. -laughs- I love her hometown... the girl is so lucky. she's got a family that cares so much for her, her whole town totally cheering her on... God, this rocks!! meanwhile, back in LA... I found a note Pierre left me before I left for Georgia. -bites her lip- Man, I feel horrible still. I just need to call him, you know? but it's going to be hard... I hurt him so much and he still wants to be my friend? I don't get it. I mean, Ryan's practically wanting to never see me again, it seems and Pierre? he's still wanting to back me up with every step I take. I don't get it, really. the one thing that caught me in his note... I just... he wrote something like "I kept hoping you'd return to LA and realize what's been waiting for you the whole time but you didn't" was he right? what did he really mean? am I really that hopeless? -sighs- the flight back to LA is being delayed due to weather conditions... but I'm thinking of a detour I may take... I'm not sure. it's pending on this... Clay's in LA and I really want to find Ryan. I really NEED to find ryan. I need to see him... make my body melt » a/c

19 May 2004   11:55pm I'm somewhere in New York. Times Square, I know that much... but some coffee house in New York. Ryan flew me out here with him to talk, now I'm sure he wish he hadn't. God, I'm horrible. it was a mistake... a huge mistake that I don't know what to make of now. I've hurt two people and where does that leave me now? with one guy who flew out to LA to visit me, and is now kind of stranded by himself since I flew out with Ryan to New York. and where am I now? who the hell knows. tell me what I have to do tonight cause I'd to anything to make it right let's be us again I feel like I'm in the middle of some poor quality movie. here it is looking like it's about to rain and all I want to do is run back to the hotel and just hug him. just to feel him in my arms would be enough for now. I'm not asking for him to 'take me back' -- even if that's not the correct way to state it, I don't even know if we were technically together. I'm just... -sighs- I just want to be there with him right now. not be the cause of why he's alone in a hotel room and I'm out here by myself. what have I done? 7 heated me up » make my body melt » a/c